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Israel Jewish

A throwback to simpler and more peaceful times…

Today I am feeling nostalgic. Opening my phone this morning, I was reminded that six years ago today, knackered from taking 250 Jewish kids away on a youth camp for New Year, I headed to the airport. I boarded a plane, nervous, worried and far more anxious than I’d have let on.

It’s possible I got banned from flying Wizz Air after this flight…

Five and a half hours later, for the first time as an adult, and the second time in my life I walked down the famous ramp and Ben Gurion Airport Tel Aviv.

The last time I walked down that ramp, was nine years before – as a 16 year old on a three week tour of Israel. After 3 weeks I walked down what I now know as the sad ramp, and came home. Indifferent.

In those three weeks, contrary to whatever “AsAJew” antizionists will tell you… I was not brainwashed, I didn’t ‘Fall for the hasbara’… I came back thinking “that was a nice 3 week holiday… Jerusalem was special… maybe I’ll visit again one day”.

I didn’t grow up in a family of strong, Zionists. I grew up hearing stories of one of my sets of Grandparents who visited a few times… Grandma tongue-in-cheek always said “Lovely to visit, but I wouldn’t choose to live there”.

I never visited as a child. I have no close family there. (Because we escaped Eastern Europe early). I didn’t grow up visiting once or more a year, obsessed over bamba and shoko b’sakit. I had no connection and even after 3 weeks on tour, I still didn’t feel compelled to rush back.

I felt like I understood it was important that we had Israel, and I might occasionally talk about why I thought antizionism was an antisemitism problem… but I never fully felt connected.

Then one day I got a Whatsapp from a school friend. A school friend who had begged me to visit since she moved out there after school. The Whatsapp was a photo, the photo a wedding invitation.

My first instinct, as British as can be, was “Oh she’ll want my address to send me the proper invite.”… How wrong I was! But an invite to a wedding is an invite to a wedding, and I know better than to turn down an invite to a Simcha.

So 6 years ago, I found myself flying alone, to a foreign land, expecting to grin and bear it, maybe enjoy a wedding and come home… Except I didn’t just ‘grin and bear it’ and it didn’t feel all that foreign…

Blurry ramp photo courtesy of 2018’s potato phone.

We always say that being part of the Jewish people is like being one big family, and landing alone in Israel for the first time was testament to that…. I felt at ease, like I could do anything I needed or wanted to… and in a really strange way which I couldn’t really articulate at the time, I felt at home.

I said it, quoting the song as I wrote about leaving in October – Ein Li Eretz Aheret – I have no other land… I understand that more now as a phrase than ever before – I have been to America more times than Israel, yet don’t feel the same sense of ease, touching down at JFK or IAD as I do crossing the Mediterranean, seeing the beauty of Tel Aviv, and touching down at Natbag. (An Acronym in Hebrew for “Ben Gurion Airport”).

A wise-ish lady, on the reception desk in the hotel I stayed at in Tel Aviv said “Eeeerrmmm, You know, if you can enjoy eeet in the rain, you will like eeet here”…. She made little sense, yet I understood her. The weather was abysmal, and Tel Aviv cannot deal with rain. The roads were rivers and the pavements were… also rivers! But I absolutely enjoyed every minute of my time.
(Wise-ish because she failed to warn me of the puddle that had engulfed the road and kerb outside the hotel. When I returned to change my socks and shoes which were wet past my ankles she said “You’re the third person in the last hour”.)

So, perhaps it was the rain… Perhaps it was the food, the people, the scenery, the land, the connection, the giant mishpacha (family)… but 5 visits later… In sun, wind, and… erm… rockets… I finally get it. I do like it there… perhaps I finally appreciate it there too… because I am PROUD of it there…. a the world’s only Jewish state, surrounded by hostile nations, not only surviving but flourishing and achieving amazing things.

The past months have been hard for us all as Jews. Not least for those in Israel – the level of mourning and anxiety is as high as can be… not a day goes by without checking in on friends and trying to somehow share in their sadness… We feel it here in the diaspora too. Not an hour goes by when I’m not worried for my friends and almost every day I ponder my own safety here in London…

The thing about terrorists however, is that they can kill our brothers and sisters, but they can’t kill our spirit. This war has, without a doubt bought us together closer as a people… closer than we’ve ever been in my lifetime. One big ‘mishpacha’ feels more true than ever.

So I guess… in a way… thank you evil terrorists: for lighting a fire in our hearts… for reminding us that we are all one big family that hurts together, BUT soon I hope, we will be celebrating your end together.

As we start a new year, I keep thinking of the song B’shana Haba’ah – the chorus translates as “You will yet see, you will yet see, how good it will be next year.” – let’s hope and pray that ‘next year’ is now already ‘this year’ and we can soon be back to living in more peaceful, less worrying times.

Oh, and that wedding… you might wonder about the wedding.
It was fantastic. I’m glad that I gambled travelling alone to Israel in 2018. I’m glad that, trip made me realize what a brilliant place Israel really is…

The real thanks, goes not to the terrorists, but to my friends, the bride and groom – Taphat, Tamir and now my bestie Gaia (plus ‘Bar-li’ the dog) – TODAH RABBAH – 6 years ago, I didn’t dream I’d have come and stayed with you so many times, been on fantastic tiyulim, and eaten such wonderful food… or cancelled all my plans and come to stay with you during a war… thank you for looking after me – I guess I do have mishpacha b’Eretz Yisrael! ❤️ Mazal Tov on your upcoming wedding anniversary. 🥳🥳

Categories
America Holiday 2018 Travel Washington DC

DC Day 2: Monuments, Museums and Mammoth Amounts of Walking!

Greetings readers and welcome to Blog day number 2!

Today involved LOTS of walking. Everything aches and is certainly deserved of a bath, however following a rather chilling experience with the bath here yesterday, I’m going to opt out! (Let’s just say not EVERYTHING in the states is bigger than at home!)

Before I tell you about today, I’d like to take a short moment to write about my current surroundings in which I’m sat to write. When booking a cheap, central hotel, I didn’t think I’d end up in the nearly 100 year old Hamilton Hotel which is on the National Register of Historic places.
Tonight I’m sat in the foyer. Perfect people watching position, in the back left hand corner. It’s small but perfectly appointed nicely scented (Important) and has more gold leaf than you can shake a stick at. It just feels great and a perfect place to write… (especially with music like Carole King’s Tapestry gently playing in my ears – shout-out to Spotify!)

Classic and Classy. Carole King turned quickly into the well fitting Big Band Jazz!

As I’ve written this, someone has started hoovering. It’s 10pm…. SHHH!

Anyway… today:

Today I was up and out fairly early for me on holiday (before 10!!) and headed down to the Washington and Lincoln monuments Via the White House.  (to be clear, the President’s house, not the Kosher Take away in Hendon/Golders Green). While by the White House, I noticed a lot of Police Cordons, followed by a helicopter overhead. This then was followed by a convoy of about 20 police bikes, a good 10 or so police cars and then three black “State Cars”….. The cars headed into the driveway of the White House…. I assume that was the president coming home. (Sadly I didn’t get any photos!)

The “other side” to the photo I posted on Instagram/Facebook. This is the front of the White House!

From the White House, I walked back down toward the Washington Memorial. In daylight it’s just as imposing as it is at night! I now know that it was built to commemorate the first President of the United States, George Washington… and that when built, it was the tallest structure in the world, later trumped by the Eiffel Tower! (I know some more but I’m not gonna bore you with the facts… wikipedia has it all should you desire!)

Boldly piercing the blue sky.

From the Washington Memorial, I walked along to the WW2 Memorial, amazed by the immense detailing present on the memorial and the thought that had gone into it. It’s at the end of the Lincoln monument reflection pool and gives great views of both the Lincoln and Washington Monuments.

Details…

I wandered along the Lincoln Monument reflection pool in the bitter cold (It’s -5) up to the Lincoln Monument, Watching the reflection of the Washington monument grow as I walked.

Proud of this shot, even if it meant crouching down and nearly exposing my bum to a group of Chinese tourists.

It’s much bigger when you’re up close. Almost like an Italian or even Greek structure!

When I got to the Lincoln Monument I froze for a moment at the sheer size of it. While the Washington is tall and imposing, this is tall and vast and just kinda of BAM hits you in the face. I climbed the steps and entered inside to see the statue of Lincoln in the center.

While in the hall, I over heard a mother shout in a southern twang “Mary, Mary, get in front of Abe for a photo” (Mary, obviously pronounced “May-Ree”)… I decided that Abe probably would have been a fan of a selfie, so did the obvious.

Hideous of me, but Abe looks good… You can see Mayree off to the left!

From the Lincoln Memorial, I walked back toward the National Mall via the Korea memorial (because I was passing) toward the museums.

They view from the Lincoln Memorial Steps of the Washington Memorial. The Capitol Building peeks its head out from behind the Washington memorial if you stand on the sides of the Lincoln memorial!

Korea Memorial

 

Soon I found myself at the Holocaust museum. Even having been to Poland, I felt compelled to visit and saw a number of artifacts and items which I hadn’t seen before. It’s got a similarity to what I can remember of Yad Vashem, where the main museum is dark, but you cross a number of times, through the light of the center of the museum. It’s cleverly set out across 4 floors ending at the Memorial Hall where I lit a candle in Remembrance of the distance family I lost at Majdanek. ( I only learned of them Via my Cousin, Sherman when visiting…. More about that trip is here)

Never Forget.

From the Holocaust Museum, I headed up the National Mall towards the Capitol Building Stopping for lunch at what was effectively an office mall full of business people. (A bit like Canary Wharf)… the food court had a load of options, and I had a lovely Falafel pita.

Satiated, I headed towards the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. There were lots of planes and a few spacecraft to see. Oddly, I didn’t really take any photos. This is probably as I was a little… well let down by the museum… Thinking about it, the reason I was so let down is because last time I was in the states I went to the Kennedy Space Center which was hands down the best museum/working place experience I have ever been to. (I’m still blown away by Atlantis!)

From the Air and Space museum, I crossed the National Mall and had a wander round the Natural History Museum. Unfortunately again, I felt a little let down, most likely as we’ve got the impressive Natural History Museum in London. (Which houses a sample taken by me! If you don’t know the story, ask me next time you have half an hour to spare!)

From the Natural History Museum, I headed next door to the Museum of American History. This turned out to be a Bizarre collection of things, Trains, Cars, Buses, Clothes… all sorts.  I did manage to go and see the Original “Star Spangled Banner” made by Mary Pickersgill in 1813. As the flag is now kept under special conditions, It’s now in a no-photo area, so you’ll have to trust me when I tell you I’ve seen it! (And no, It’s laying down so I can’t say that, that star spangled banner yet waves. *rimshot*)

As I left the Museum, I managed to grab this pretty nice shot from the center of the National Mall:

Beaut Sunset!

I was in need of a bit of a sit down so got the metro back to my hotel (I just couldn’t face the walking!) and relaxed in front of the telly for a bit before heading out to a kosher restaurant for some dinner.  – I’ve eaten my body weight in meat and am more than satiated yet again!!

I don’t want to bore you all with more transport geekiness, but I’m gonna. In stark contrast to NY’s Subway the Metro is very clean, clear and uniform. All of the underground stations I’ve been to so far have been of a VERY similar design – Impressive vaulted horizontal cylinders. Platforms have lights on the edge which flash when the train is approaching and there are machines inside the gateline to top up your card if you run out of credit when you get to your destination. (Nearly, but not yet used by me!)

It’s a strange space age situation which is unbelievably airy for being underground!

There’s also quite the mix of trains – I thought when I arrived that things were still a bit “classic” here but have since been set right with a ride on the (I assume) brand new trains which include  3 types of display to tell you where you are and what’s next! They ain’t messing about!

Right. Enough train talk. I probably ought to get to bed. Tomorrow morning I’ve booked onto a tour of the Capitol Building! Hoping to pass a bill to sort out the man in charge…. No Promises but I’ll try my best!

Night y’all!

Categories
Jewish Personal Religion

I didn’t fast on Yom Kippur….. Not at least traditionally.

A sweeping statement yet fundamentally the truth.

I’ve been thinking for a while as to what I’d do on Yom Kippur. I’ve established previously that I don’t believe in G-d…. and that I do love many of the Jewish traditions. I’ve established that although I don’t believe, I have a VERY strong connection to “my people”, to “My heritage” and to my ancestors. Yet here I am, writing this at the start of, and then adding to it during Yom Kippur (So, please excuse the differing tenses!), the Jewish “Day of Atonement”. The day where you atone and repent for the things you have done over the last year, the one day a year where people who do little else religiously or spiritually all year round, decide they are going to withhold from eating… and I’m Drinking tea…. or maybe eating lunch.

Discussing my eating habits recently I realised that actually the vague adherence I keep to the laws of Kashrut (keeping Kosher) are one of the few areas in my life where I regularly exercise self control. While not strictly the rules of Kosher, I have a clear set of rules in my head and I stick to them. Monday this week, I found myself in Waitrose and for the first time in a very long time I was genuinely enticed by a chicken salad. I almost picked it up, before a voice in my head said “no, Exercise some self control!” (The Pesto Pasta was lovely all the same!)

Having thought long and hard about what keeping my form of kosher means to me, and that mainly being self control, I thought in the same vain about what Yom Kippur means to me. I have never “fully” observed Yom Kippur in the Traditional Orthodox Sense, just like I’ve never kept strictly kosher. (No Use of anything electrical, no driving, no washing, no making anything… etc)… But to me, it means time spent with my family, it means time spent in Synagogue; it means being dehydrated, hungry and feeling irritable. But as well as those things, the one thing I think of, possibly the most each year as the day approaches is the time I spend Counting Time.

Counting the time until the fast is over.

I am the one counting the pages, before checking my watch, before recounting the pages again. My mind becomes distracted from the purpose of the day and focuses on how long until I can stop my raging headache and my tummy from rumbling.

“On the tenth day of the same seventh month (Tishrei – The Month both Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur fall) you shall observe a sacred occasion when you shall practice self-denial” (Numbers 29:7). “Self denial”. The Torah is a little vague. Our ancestors interpreted “Self Denial” as not eating, as well as not washing, and not engaging in sexual relations. But is that a true representation of Self Denial today?

For me, practically Yom Kippur is a nightmare. Practically in the sense that I am a grazer. I eat 3 meals a day, but they aren’t huge. But between the meals I’m eating. Be it sweets or chocolate, or crackers or fruit, I love to eat. I think this is partly the reason that I find Yom Kippur so difficult – because my body is expecting snacking or a cup of tea. I’ve thought for a few days as to how I can help reduce the want to graze, how to survive the fast, how to distract myself from counting pages and time to focus on the actual purpose of Yom Kippur – To make yourself a better person in the coming year.

Thinking about what I could do to pass the fast, led me onto thinking as to if I actually wanted to fast. I thought long and hard at what I felt fasting would achieve and concluded that actually other than the piercing headache, hunger and distraction, personally the fast wouldn’t achieve anything potentially lasting.

In my commute, I have been blessed (and when I say that, I mean it) with a solid central part of my commute being underground. Underground where the phone signal doesn’t reach. Being phoneless means I have had to find something else to pass the time. I’m thankful for this time as it has enabled me to start reading again. As the northern line rattled its merry way north, on the night before Yom Kippur I was deep in the final pages of Schindler’s Ark. Since Poland, I’ve been meaning to read it, and this commute has given me the chance to finally read it. As the train rattled out of the Tunnel toward East Finchley, I felt the customary “East Finchley Vibrate” of both my Phone and my Work phone. For the first time I found this really inconvenient.

Engrossed in the book, the vibration made me anxious and it distracted me. On one hand I wanted to carry on reading, finalising the complex story I’ve been reading for weeks, yet on the other hand I was bound by the buzz to stop reading and stare at the lit screens of my phones, reading who wants to play candy crush, looking at photos of friend’s last meals before the fast or looking at emails from work. Whilst the prisoners of Zwittau , in the book, were liberated from the sub-camp that was Schindler’s factory, I was, you could say, incarcerated by the urge to stop what I was doing and flick aimlessly down social media, checking my emails and watching pointless updates about food.

I am undoubtedly digitally addicted. I work in IT. I love Technology, Gadgets and things that ping buzz and light up. I am constantly checking my phone, thinking I’ve got a notification, writing messages, sending pictures and liking posts. Not a day goes by without a considerable amount of “Idle time” spent aimlessly on my phone. Even on Rosh Hashannah and previously on Yom Kippur, I’d find myself flicking aimlessly.

With that in the forefront of my mind, and with the conscious realisation that for the next 24 hours I didn’t actually need my phone, at about 8pm…. I switched off.
The last time I switched off, was 2 years ago. I had no choice. I was on a cruise. We were at sea. There was no signal, the phone was useless. (Lord did I try to get signal – on the top deck of the boat pointing at the land, refreshing the empty list of unavailable networks). Yet now, 8pm on the 10th October 2016, I found myself consciously choosing to switch off.

Just before switching off, I was heating up my dinner. I found my-self aimlessly scrolling as per normal. Frantically scrolling through nothing. Re-looking at old posts, totting up how many likes I’d gotten here and there aggressively time wasting with no purpose.

Once I’d eaten my dinner and had started washing up… it was when I had the rubber gloves on that the final straw broke this Camel’s back. I’d just put the gloves on, just run the water, when *Buzz* *Buzz*. “For Goodness sake” I muttered as I took one glove off my hand to be distracted by the glaring screen…. A spam email…. For Goodness sake” I muttered again, and decided that was enough. I’d already turned my laptop off and had set my tablet to flight mode to allow me to write without interaction. (I’m dyspraxic – it’s my version of pen and paper!!) I pressed the power button, I held the power button, and then I pressed power off. I took the currently silent iPhone from my pocket, held the power button, slid the slider and both phones were plunged into darkness.

Lying in bed is a funny feeling. Firstly I noticed it’s 10:30pm. For me that’s pretty early. I am often up late reading random articles people share or chatting to friends etc. Finally I’m experiencing that myth I talk of often… an early night!
Not only is the early night funny, but I’m consciously aware that normally I’d waste valuable sleeping minutes distracted by the old stale news feeds of my phones.
Without the distraction, there was more time for a quick spot of reading, following which, sleep came easy!

Waking up was again interesting. I overslept. Majorly. Which is odd because I had such an early night and compared to a work day was having a lie in anyway! Once I did actually wake up, my default action was to roll over and reach for my phone. On rolling over, I realised it wasn’t there and rolled over the other side and got out of bed!

I decided post lie-in not to go to synagogue this morning… Arriving late at our Synagogue is a little awkward plus, by the time I got there, the morning services would be nearly over. Instead I’ve sat talking to mum who is feeling ill and I’ve done more reading and more thinking. (and a little dozing!) I’m incredibly relaxed.
Frankly I’ve not missed it. I’m not craving it as much as I thought I would be…. or really at all! There was an odd time that I wanted to look something up, and a time I considered checking my phone to pass a moment of time or just to see what other people are up to. But from this I have learnt, that I don’t need to seek or give the constant approval available from having my smart phone attached to me 24×7.

After getting dressed and eating some food, I decided it would be nice to go down to the hospital and visit Grandma who is currently in. Often I’d find myself sat in the room with her idly flicking through my phone whilst talking to her. Sharing my attention between two. Not today. We sat and chatted at length about all different things, giving her my full attention. Walking out the hospital I felt really good.

During my visit, mum had spoken to someone there who came down to see grandma and asked me to call mum. I could have very easily taken this opportunity to turn my phone on and be met by a barrage of notifications. I made a point of not turning my phone on, but borrowing grandma’s to phone home – I knew that by turning it on, I’d become distracted and so decided to exercise higher self control to not turn it on at all!

I came home from the hospital and got dressed and went to Synagogue. It was pretty
uneventful apart from the 47ish second Tekiah Gedolah Blown by my brother! I noticed that I was not interested in how many pages were left, how many minutes, or seconds… but was happy to be sat there joining in.

What was exceptional was that upon leaving Synagogue, I had no urge to turn my phone on. In fact, I drove home, came in, got changed and still didn’t turn my phone on. If anything I started to feel like actually I didn’t want to turn my phone on at all.
I’ve not craved my phone like I normally crave food. I didn’t really think explicitly about food. Lunch time came and I had something to eat before carrying on with my day. I’ve not been distracted by my usual distraction, and yet in removing something else, I’ve not really been distracted by that either.

Removing the distractions, you could even say fasting from my phones, has allowed me to focus more on personal reflection and what I’d like to change personally in the coming year, a process that’s roots seem stem this year from my extreme reaction to some drugs in September. Removing the distraction has allowed me to focus more on talking to my family, writing this post and actually relaxing on what is supposed to be not just a day of repentance but also a day of rest.

So there you have it. I didn’t fast on Yom Kippur. Not at least in the traditional sense. But maybe in a more modern sense, I’ve learnt the value of spending time without constantly seeking reinforcement through likes, I’ve learnt not to constantly need digital conversation, I’ve learnt a lot about myself, but most of all, I’ve learnt how to pass Yom Kippur without counting the pages, the hours, the minutes, the seconds, until it’s over.